Am I obliged?

                When I go around the city of Butuan or elsewhere in Philippines, I often encounter in the streets beggars in different forms...blind, cripple, natives carrying infant, children, youth and elderly with palms wide open, cartoons or sometimes tin can, but take note, they all not wear dirty clothes, they don't look miserable and incapable of working , ( Call me cold, unkind..and yes I don't give them, perhaps occasional, though in many times I wanted to give, but I chose to stop myself). 

              This scenario to our daily society is no longer new and seems like to be normal. But it sicks me. I even reflect myself of my behavior, why do I have no heart for them? Perhaps, maybe I often find them very usual, maybe I have develop myself insensitivity to their kind, maybe because I often encounter more distress people at my workplace so I have point of comparison, maybe I have accepted that it is their fate or maybe because they are annoying to hear, to see and annoying in the way how they asked. I have enumerated several reasons and I cannot identify myself which of them is or are my reason/s of my attitude- I guess all of them. 

              I kept telling myself I should give. I even have to check myself-should I be guilty? Well, my answer is yes and no. Yes, especially remembering quote "It's better to give than to receive" but it is contradicting to "Give a man a fish and you have fed him today. Teach a man how to fish and he will feed himself for the rest of his life" so I have to say it's a no, I should not be guilty. Then I have to recheck myself, have I taught them how to catch fish- my answer is no, I did not. Hmmm...No I did not teach them, how to make living, but I helped them to realized that they have to make a descent living than asking because no one will give them something to eat. Then again, I have to recheck myself. I should be guilty what if it was God, who conceal to test me, if I have a kind heart? Waaah...then if it was Him really, St. Peter will not let me in to the door of heaven..maybe I am only at the staircase or maybe he will just let me peek the view of heaven and send me to hell immediately...Oh no........I don't want to be there, no please. But what if it was also Satan, who use innocent people (you know the movie like stories, kidnapped children to beg, and collection is taken by the syndicates)...Hurrah..a relief. 

             Honestly, guilty or not guilty, I hate them because they let me feel that I should give them. Because they, won't stop, when I said already I don't have money and they have to bring you to rudeness, and humiliate you at some point. I hate them, because they don't respect, they just come and beg and open their palms while you are eating at fast foods, drinking while walking in the streets, while paying in the counter grrrrrr.... But this is the worst thing I hate about them, when they have to show their permit to beg, what is this?  Now that they have this thing, Am I obligated to give them , Have I no right to refuse? I almost have to ask them this " so you also pay tax?" this sounds joke..and funny. Yes, I find it very funny and maybe I am cruel.

              I don't understand why our Republic allow to have permits to begging. So all Juan Tamad will have a chance to just lie down in the green grass and wait the guava fruit dropped into their mouth.